Inside My Soft Era: How I Built a Life That Feels Like a Sanctuary (Even With 3 Kids)
If there’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s this:
your home… your energy… your life…
they can either drain you or refill you.
For a long time, I lived in survival mode.
You know that feeling where you’re constantly bracing yourself?
For the next argument.
The next bill.
The next meltdown.
The next heartbreak.
The next version of yourself you might become one day but can’t quite reach yet.
I was there.
Fully there.
And honestly? I got tired of waiting for my life to feel good.
I wanted peace not the Pinterest version… the real kind.
The kind you can breathe in.
The kind your kids can feel.
The kind you don’t have to perform.
So this is the story of how I built my Soft Era.
Not perfectly, not aesthetically 24/7… but intentionally.
And it changed everything.
Step One: I Stopped Pretending I Wasn’t Tired
Let me be honest with you… I was exhausted.
The kind of tired that lives in your bones.
But I kept pushing, because that’s what mums do, right?
Except one day, while trying to fold laundry with a toddler climbing my back… I had this little whisper moment:
"What if it doesn’t have to feel this hard?"
And I decided to stop pretending I wasn’t on the edge.
That one decision softened my whole life.
I started slowing down.
Saying “not today” more often.
Letting my older kids make their own breakfast sometimes (shocking, I know).
Resting without guilt.
Choosing ease over martyrdom.
And guess what?
The house didn’t fall apart.
I just stopped falling apart inside of it.
Step Two: I Made My Home My Haven
Soft Era isn’t just a vibe it’s a lifestyle.
And for me, it started at home.
I didn’t redecorate the whole house or buy a million things.
I just asked myself one question every morning:
“What would make today feel softer?”
Sometimes it was opening the windows for fresh air.
Sometimes it was lighting a candle.
Sometimes it was spritzing lavender water onto my pillows/ cushions at 3pm.
Sometimes it was ignoring the dishes because my peace mattered more.
Small rituals, big shift.
My home started hugging me back.
Step Three: I Stopped Shrinking Myself
There’s something that happens to women especially mums when life gets heavy.
We start shrinking.
Our desires get quieter.
Our creativity gets dimmer.
Our confidence gets… conditional.
But one day I realised my children don’t need a mother who’s small.
They need a mother who’s alive.
So I let myself dream again.
Write again.
Create again.
Manifest again.
Feel powerful again.
Feel beautiful again.
Feel… me again.
Stepping into my Soft Era wasn’t about becoming someone new.
It was about coming home to myself.
Step Four: I Built Routines That Fit My Real Life
Not the 6am toxic routines.
Not the “drink lemon water and meditate for an hour” routines.
Just… realistic ones.
A soft morning ritual before the toddler wakes up.
A quick journaling moment with my coffee.
A midday walk when the weather lets me.
A cosy movie evening with my boys when I’m too tired to talk.
A clean corner of the house that makes me breathe easier.
I call them micro-soft moments tiny things that shift your whole frequency.
Step Five: I Finally Chose Myself
This one was the hardest.
Choosing myself meant letting go of things (and people) that drained me.
It meant emotional honesty.
Boundaries.
Clarity.
Courage I didn’t know I still had.
But choosing myself didn’t break my family.
It made me a stronger mother.
A clearer woman.
A softer soul.
A better leader of my home.
And standing here now, in this new season…
I’m proud of her — the version of me who finally said,
“I deserve peace.”
Because she was right.
Final Thoughts: Your Soft Era Isn’t a Trend.. It’s a Reclamation
You don’t have to move to Bali.
You don’t have to suddenly become a minimalist fairy goddess.
You don’t need a new sofa or a new life.
Softness starts with one decision:
“I will not abandon myself.”
Not today.
Not again.
Not in this season of your life.
Your Soft Era can begin quietly — in a room you’ve already lived in a thousand times.
With a cup of tea.
A new boundary.
A breath.
A moment of honesty.
And slowly… you become the woman your future self will thank you for.
